Raphael Lore: Official Story

This is my kinda place! Big people with big muscles and even bigger weapons; it’s like this place was made for me. No fancy techspeak from Donnie; no Mikey making stupid jokes all the time; no Leo breathing down my neck talking about ‘remembering our training’; just who can hit harder and faster. I took on this one guy, big fella with an axe the size of me! Heh, he really thought he could beat a Ninja Turtle? It’s like he ain’t never come up against anyone trained in ninjutsu with twin sai and got beat so bad before! Fear the legendary Raphael, the baddest ninja in New York and Teleria!

sigh I do miss my bros, though. I’d never tell ‘em, they’ll think I’ve gone soft. But I miss ‘em all, really. I miss Donnie, gettin’ all excited. I miss fightin’ with Mikey over the last slice of pizza. I even miss Leo and bein’ part of a team. I miss April, too, she’s smarter than the rest of us put together. She’s probably blown this case wide open already. Truth is, Shredder’s out there somewhere and I can’t protect my family if I don’t know where they are or where he is. I need to look for them, Donnie & Mikey especially. Leo can handle himself, he’s strong. But Mikey’s a dork and Donnie’s an even bigger dork. They need me.

Shredder… Guy’s tough, I’ll give him that. Every time we beat him he comes back. Maybe this time’ll be different. Maybe this time, we’ll stop Shredder for good, save this world, and get home.

Ugh, alright, boring talk over. Let’s go smash some skulls and put that tin can down once and for all. Prepare to get shell-shocked, ya glorified cheese grater!